“I told you I’m fine,” when he had fainted 15 hours before. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me his head feels like it’s between a vice. “I told you I’m fine,” after he’s had diarrhea for three weeks and just told me so this morning. “I told you I’m fine,” after throwing up all day Sunday. “I told you I’m fine,” after he steps down off the scale showing he’s lost roughly 10 pounds. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me he can only eat and drink a little at a time. “I told you I’m fine,” after he called me from school saying he only made it up two flights of stairs and had to take the elevator the last two, because he felt so weak. “I told you I’m fine,” after he sat in my room and told me that every little sound was magnified and he he just wanted to lay in his bed where it is quiet. “I told you I’m fine,” when he looks into my eyes and he is clearly not.
Son, you are not fine. You will not leave our side. You will see a doctor. I will make sure you get better. These symptoms do not mean that you are fine. To appease me does not make you fine. The only fine thing will be when you smile and tell me how great you feel. For real. That is when you will be fine.
In the meantime I will keep at it. Keep caring about you. Keep watch over you. Keep trying to figure out how to make you fine and heathy. I will never give up. I am your Mother. The only time I am happy is when you are truly ‘fine’.
At the end of the video they asked… “What is your NEW definition of success where you can always win? OR, in times of binge eating, what are you really hungry for and what can you do to remedy that?”
Isabel Duke spoke a lot about binge eating. I don’t have a problem there. Thank goodness! I do think that a have a problem with completing tasks for myself and not being a goal finisher with my own personal self. Being that said, I’ve been trying to work on this.
What this consists of for me is… getting out the door for a walk, finishing tasks on my to-do list, cleaning the house, complaining that something doesn’t get done, but not doing it myself, doing the laundry, making appointments for myself, setting aside time for myself to blog, to paint, learn something new. Stuff along those lines.
I like to think that I am already tackling this. 25 pounds down the past year. Setting up dates to hike with a friend. Taking ‘ukulele lessons once a week. Keeping my room cleaned up. Keeping my children on task with their chores. Crossing things off my to-do list in a more timely fashion.
What am I going to do to keep going? One foot in front of the other. Just do it, don’t wait. Don’t wait until later. Don’t push “snooze” when my to-do, or reminder, pops up on my phone. Get out the door. Pick-up the phone. Turn on the vacuum. Carry that laundry downstairs and get it going. Good stuff like that.
The big thing for me is though, to keep it up. To keep doing these actions and moving forward each and every day.
I also wanted to talk about what I decided to do about Day 1. Day 1 was about me setting up 2 new daily “Rituals” for myself. Have I done that yet? Um, I don’t think so. Not in the way that I understood that I am supposed to. To set one up in the morning and then another in the evening.
The thing is, I think I already have established a pretty good routine of rituals for myself lately. In the morning, after I get the kids to school, I make myself a nice breakfast and I sit and just relax for a while and enjoy my breakfast. Be that on my computer cleaning out my e-mails. Checking on Facebook. Reading a news article on-line. Doing bills. No matter what it may be, it’s me time. After that, I move on to what I have in mind next.
In the evenings I have been plopping my fanny on the couch to get in some relaxation time. Watching a show that I have on the DVR. If I’m not doing that, I have been getting my family to play a board game with me. I also read in bed, or watch a show that I have on the DVR in my bedroom.
This is all acceptable to me. I think that I definitely find time for myself.
Some things that I would like to see change are… getting out for more walks and spending time with my Husband, and setting up more family time. Three things that I really miss. 🙂
This really stuck with me today. It can’t express how I feel any better. It also reminds me of what I need to do in my life. What I think about constantly, but don’t follow through with. That I need to just speak and not walk on eggshells. That I need to do more for myself and what makes me feel good.
I want to thank, Rachael, a friend on Facebook. One of the very few friends that I have on Facebook, that I have never actually met in person. I adore your drive for life. For peace. For health. For education. ♥
Since December 2011 I have done… 1 12k, 1 5k and 3 5k mud runs. I walk most of the way, but get it done. I have a blast with my friends and my family has joined in too!
I started the 100 push-up program again last week. Started second week last night! Woo hoo!! Now if I can just stick to it.
My weight-loss progress has been slow since January, but I am still tooling along. Still losing is what is important.
Last week I was pretty frustrated, but I used that energy and am moving forward this week. One foot in front of the other!
I am only down .1 this week from last Sunday’s weigh-in and that can change at any moment. Last week killed me. Salt, sodium and fried fatty foods are not my friends. I am sure glad that I don’t eat them that often, but last week I let them get to me and it pissed me off! Especially when I was at an all time low. Such an idiot!
My new assignment/challenge this week is to Keep Off the Couch. Funny, because I have been trying to get my butt to get ON the couch more lately. I haven’t watched very much TV, or new in the past couple of years. I guess if I get up and walk on the treadmill in the morning before the babies get here for me to watch, then get my Boys off to school, I can make this all work. Actually, I am going to get my Boys off to school, then take Baby Girl on a bike ride, then come home for lunch. After lunch I usually lay her down. Once I lay her down I am going to get on the treadmill and either read, or watch a show in its TV. My minimum on the treadmill is 40 minutes, which is at least usually 2 miles. Yes, that will work great! Good plan! Also extra activity points. Good stuff!
My water intake since I have started except for one day, yesterday, has been great! I have been drinking a goal of 100 ounces a day.
As for my sleep that has also been going well this past week also except for one day. Saturday night I went out with friend, then needed to be up early Sunday for my Weight Watchers weigh-in. Does it count that I came home afterward and slept for several hours? LOL!
May I tell everyone that I am loving this challenge and incorporating these things in my life and being aware of each of them every day. Love it! 🙂
The Assignment… What are your Goals for this Challenge?
Goals, huh, that is a hard one for me. I am GREAT at setting goals for myself, but completely CRAPPY about actually doing them for myself.
Sunday I weighed 177.2
Today, Wednesday, I weighed 176.4
I am also not a New Years Resolution person, because of just my last of follow through for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am reliable, plan stuff all the time, show up to all the gatherings, keep promises within my friends and family and also help meet my children’s goals… just not my own. It was coincidental for me that it just happened to be the beginning of the year that I was looking around for some new challenges to kick-start me a little bit. Since Thanksgiving I have just lacked on my exercise. I have still been going to my Weight Watchers meetings weekly though. This coming Sunday will be my 15th week. My starting weight was 185.
So, back to my goals…
#1… To lose at least another 5 pounds by the end of this challenge, February 29th. I will stick to my WW Daily Points and work hard not to dip into my Weekly points unless necessary.
#2… I will drink 100 plus ounces of water each day. I have a 30 ounce cup and also a 24 ounce water bottle that I keep with me at all times.
#3… I will exercise at least 3 times a week. I will set dates with myself to ride my bike. I will set appointments to go back to Bikram Yoga. My absolute favorite kind of exercise. I will not let myself make excuses. I will figure out how to get exercise in as much as I can. I need to stop just blowing this off.
#4… I will keep this weight OFF! I will do what is needed to stay on track and keep it of forever. This is a huge goal for me since I always seem to put it on and 10 times as fast. It sucks, but is true. It needs to be a major focus this time around.
I am looking forward to the support I know I will get from this challenge and also learning some new things about myself. 🙂
Today I am told that “Tuesday is the day where we put IT all out on the table, where we share the previous week’s transgressions, struggles, and good stuff too. You write-up a post, leave the link in the comments below and then go read what everyone else has to say and leave them shouts of encouragement or a swift kick in the ass.” Ha! Love it, so here it goes.
After charting all that let me tell you how easy it is to put that back on… yeah probably a week, or two. Easy pesy and it sucks! That is why I joined Weight Watchers and that is why I am here. Honestly it is coincidental that it is the beginning of the year, because I have been ready and working my best. The problem is that when it comes to myself my best isn’t always good enough. I can do everything for everyone else with no issue. Follow though, help at the school, take care of every kid on the block, yadda yadda yadda, but when it comes to me I never really realize I am slacking until it is bad.
In the 14 weeks I have been in Weight Watchers I have had 4 gains. 3 times just 1 pound and 1 other time just 1.6. Yeah, I got it back of rather quickly, but that is my problem. I can lose it quick, but I also put it back on twice as fast. I am learning that I need to be patient. Slow loss is good. Eating is good. Especially when it speeds up your metabolism.
Yesterday we went with friends to Gordon Biersch to watch the Rose Bowl. Weekend events are my nemesis! I love spending time with my Husband, friends and my family in general. The weekends usually involve cocktails. Cocktails usually then lead to food. That is where I usually screw-up. I am working on it. I want to get this weight off.
My other problem is that I just don’t care if I don’t get up and work-out, or eat that snack that I am supposed to be eating to get my metabolism going. I am trying to change that as well. It is SO easy for me to slip back into what I have always know. I have been told my whole life to just not eat to lose weight. Well, that obviously doesn’t work for me and has messed me up mentally. I am having to reconfigure my brain.
I have a love and hate relationship with food. I absolutely love it and love to cook. When there is amazing food in front of me I go for it. On the other end I can go most of the day without eating and that really messes me up. I am learning to eat more often and boy is it hard for me. 🙂
There will also be a fitness challenge for everyone! And non-shrinkers are welcome to join in with us!
When does it begin and end? The Shrink Yo’ Self Challenge starts on January 1st and ends on February 29th.
Can I join at anytime? YES! Feel free to jump in anytime!
Must I be a woman to join? Heck, no! We welcome women, mothers, brothers, fathers, absolutely ANYONE!
What do I need to do? We’ll check-in every Wednesday. If you have a blog, write about your losses, gains, successes, frustrations. Then come back to Shrinking Jeans and link back to your weekly blog post.
Do I have to check-in every Wednesday? We encourage you to check-in every Wednesday! Accountability is good!
What if I don’t want to lose weight, and just want to hang out and exercise with y’all because you’re cool? That’s great! We welcome losers, non-losers, people new to fitness, and people training for their 52nd marathon. Join the fun!
Do I have to have a blog? Nope. But you should! They’re free and journaling while losing weight is awesome. OR you can join the ‘hood and use the nifty blogging feature that comes with every account. No excuses people!!!
What if I have information I want to share? Please share any thoughts, recipes, product reviews and meaningful blog posts with us. You can e-mail us anything. (Except pictures of chocolate or pizza) We’d love for this site to feel like your home, so get your running shoes on and get comfortable! More than likely we will share whatever you send us! Just keep it clean and pertinent!
You can also engage in conversation with your fellow Sisters and Brothers in the comments sections of posts.
AND you can now join the ‘hood, our Sisterhood social networking site!
Do you happen to have any advice for me for this challenge? Why yes we do. Take your before picture now. You will never regret it. When I look at mine, I throw my donut in the garbage and I don’t even go back and get it later. Do I have to be on Weight Watchers to join this challenge? Oh goodness no. Do whatever works for you. Can I put a button on my blog promoting this challenge? I certainly don’t want to keep all of this healthy goodness to myself! Goodness yes. Buttons with codes can be found up there at top under “Button Up“. Grab one of our logos buttons and the current challenge button for your blog’s sidebar. Go ahead; all the cool cats are doing it!
I am completely excited about it! Still learning the ins and outs of how to connect, but doing it none the less. 🙂
Yesterday Kim and I weighed in for our 7th time. I was up a pound. I was happy though. I know that sounds weird, but I had a pretty festive weekend at NASCARwith my Husband and some friends. 1 pounds was a good thing and I was so happy that it wasn’t more.
I feel pretty in control most days now, but would like to try to lose more each week. This less than 1 pound a week still seems so slow. I know it is the perfect way to lose weight, but, sigh, it just seems so slow still. 2 of my other girlfriends that I am doing weight watchers with have both lost about 10 pounds in the same amount of time, or less. I know that they have more weight to lose then I do, but I just feel like it is all relative. I haven’t been getting upset about it now though like I used to. It is always just a thought that lingers in the back of my head.
Today I did my 10th Bikram Yoga class in the past 13 days. It felt great! I am hoping that I will start seeing results over the next couple of months. I am also hoping that if I keep to a minimum of 4 days a week it will help get this weight off of me.
On December 10th I am doing a 12k with my Husband and my friend Kim. I need to start walking a bit and building up my strength that way as well. I have found that walking is funny. You can’t just get out there and think that you can walk without cramping, getting blisters and getting dehydrated. It is important that you work up to your goal. I learned this from training for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day last year. Today I was going to walk, but didn’t get to. Tomorrow I will try again. 🙂
I did it! I made it to another day of Bikram. Today I was a bit stiff from yesterday, but today was better with me not wanting to puke the whole time. I get to go back tomorrow too. I am so happy about that. My friend Kim will be going with me for her first time. I love what Jon, the instructor/owner said today during class. He said that everyone hates it their first time, their 5th time. After 60 days they can’t live without it. I believe it.
After class tonight I was asking Jon about children and Bikram. He said I could bring them all if they are interested. I loved hearing that. I will be interested in seeing who goes with Kim and I tomorrow.
You know what I like the most? That I am excited about going back. About seeing how I feel each day after I practice. All I can say is that it is the good stuff.
I am still focusing hard on my Weight Watchers and after 5 weeks on the program, I think that I am really finding my groove. I am hoping to do the same with exercising and doing Bikram. I want it to just become second nature for me. Just part of my normal day. Would that be wonderful! 🙂