Tag Archive | Parent

“I told you I’m fine.”

“I told you I’m fine,” when he had fainted 15 hours before. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me his head feels like it’s between a vice. “I told you I’m fine,” after he’s had diarrhea for three weeks and just told me so this morning. “I told you I’m fine,” after throwing up all day Sunday. “I told you I’m fine,” after he steps down off the scale showing he’s lost roughly 10 pounds. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me he can only eat and drink a little at a time. “I told you I’m fine,” after he called me from school saying he only made it up two flights of stairs and had to take the elevator the last two, because he felt so weak. “I told you I’m fine,” after he sat in my room and told me that every little sound was magnified and he he just wanted to lay in his bed where it is quiet. “I told you I’m fine,” when he looks into my eyes and he is clearly not.

Son, you are not fine. You will not leave our side. You will see a doctor. I will make sure you get better. These symptoms do not mean that you are fine. To appease me does not make you fine. The only fine thing will be when you smile and tell me how great you feel. For real. That is when you will be fine.

In the meantime I will keep at it. Keep caring about you. Keep watch over you. Keep trying to figure out how to make you fine and heathy. I will never give up. I am your Mother. The only time I am happy is when you are truly ‘fine’.

I love you. ❌⭕️❌⭕️

Missing The City

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FullSizeRender 9 “The City Bathed In Orange” Original Untouched Photograph by Kathleen Shelfer

Last night I attended a Birthday party on the Zinfandel Yacht out of the Alameda Harbor. It was fantastic! I never even fathomed that we would be going under the Bay Bridge and having the most amazing views of The City.

It was 6:30 p.m. and the sun was going down. We all boarded the yacht. With it being such a hot day, we went immediately up to the top deck to cool off and find a seat. As the Birthday Boy boarded the boat, we headed back downstairs to say our hello’s and Happy Birthday.  Big hugs too.

I don’t really want to get into then whole logistics of the party.  What I really want to talk about is the views of The City.  The memories it carries for me and how much I enjoyed remembering them last night.

As I watched the sunset over the Bay I realized what I was looking at.  The Bay Bridge with The City in the background. I was in awe.  Frozen to the amazing view.  I found an open window and just stared.

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I am still a little baffled at how to exactly explain how I was feeling.  I was happy. Excited. Calm. Just to name a few.  Even a little sad. I had memories flying through my head of the great times that I have had there.

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San Francisco is the first City that I had fallen in love with. It’s as pure and simple as that. I am so happy that I was able to experience the views of The City at night from the Bay again.  It had been too many years. The last time was with my friend, Taylor, one 4th of July when I was 27, or 28. What a night that was! Another story, for another day.  😉

xo

 

Brilliant!

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This really stuck with me today. It can’t express how I feel any better.  It also reminds me of what I need to do in my life. What I think about constantly, but don’t follow through with. That I need to just speak and not walk on eggshells. That I need to do more for myself and what makes me feel good.  

I want to thank, Rachael, a friend on Facebook. One of the very few friends that I have on Facebook, that I have never actually met in person. I adore your drive for life. For peace. For health. For education.  ♥

xo

Do you think money can buy happiness?

Do you think money can buy happiness? This is a yes and no answer for me.  I need to lean more to yes though… especially with a family of 7.  If I can’t pay my bills, buy food for my family and have gas to get them to school do you think I would be a happy person?  The answer is no!

I think that money is relative to all of us, no matter how much we have we have.  $5 a day or $5,000 a day, we all need it.  I know I do.  When you don’t have the money to do the essential things in life it is stressful and please don’t tell me that it isn’t.  I know it is.  I have been through more living situations in my life than most.  I have worked since I was 12 years old and also haven’t worked now for the past 6 1/2 years. I have had enough money to pay for everybody around me and I have not had .20 cents to my name to make a phone call to call the temp agency for a job.

Don’t get me wrong. I always tried to stay happy during the hard times. I have my health, wonderful friends and the best family ever.  That is what always made me look forward.  To hug my children each day is amazing.  If I could give them more I would in a flash with no hesitation.  I wouldn’t only give to my household, but I would help anyone else I could.  Life is grand!  Enjoy it! Live it in the best way you can.  As I have always said… Life on the edge, don’t fall off.  🙂

xo

WordPress A Post A Day/Week #33 ~ If you could have any job…

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

I already have the perfect job… being a Mother for my 4 beautiful little Boys.  To make it ideal? To get paid to do it, say $100,000 per year per child.  I’m not talking about my Husband’s income, because I am a stay-at-home-Mom. I mean to travel with my children, give them the best the best education.  Not to spoil them, but to be comfortable. Not to have to worry about how we will get their money for college, why we can’t go see Grandma, because we can’t afford the high prices of the airlines, etc.  You know meaningful stuff.  Important stuff.  I don’t think that everyone should get this.  I think that a lot of people abuse their children, abuse money from the state and don’t deserve to even have children of their own.  I know that doesn’t sound nice, but for me it is the truth.  People have children for the wrong reasons.  That is for another discussion though.  🙂

xo

30 Days – Day 14

Day 14 — Someone You’ve Drifted Away From

The first person that comes to mind is my Niece, Jennifer.  I moved out of California 8 years ago.  Since that time Jennifer and I don’t talk as often as I like and I feel like we have drifted away from each other.  Don’t get me wrong, when we are together we pick back up, but it is those in between times that I feel like I have missed out on in her life.

My life is pretty simple.  I am married, retired, raising 4 children.  I don’t have too much going on that isn’t hard to keep up with. She on the other hand works very hard, is single, living a great life.  I miss being part of her day-to-day life.  We keep in touch on FB mostly.  We text from time-to-time and have the occasional phone call, but that is about it.

I miss her.  I miss knowing what is going on, who she is dating, who she  is in-love with, how her job is doing, who she danced with last weekend, who she ran into at the beach, how her relationship with her Mother is, what color she is doing her hair this time, listening to her about her heart breaks and also the fabulous days… all of it.  I miss it!

I just want to be there for her. Know that she is the happiest that she can possibly be.  Know that she has someone to confide in. Know that she is okay.  I love you Jennifer!  🙂

xo

30 Days – Day 11

Day 11 – A deceased person you with you would talk to. (1 day late)

This is another hard one for me.  I have several people who I wish I could talk too… my Mother, my Nanny & Pappy (Great Grand Parents), My Grandma and Grandpa (Lewis) and a few more.  What I really wish though and think about very often is that I wish my Children could talk to and could have known my Mother.  I got pregnant with my oldest Son, Alex, just a few months after my Mother died.  He looks so much like her.  I miss her.  🙂

xo