“I told you I’m fine,” when he had fainted 15 hours before. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me his head feels like it’s between a vice. “I told you I’m fine,” after he’s had diarrhea for three weeks and just told me so this morning. “I told you I’m fine,” after throwing up all day Sunday. “I told you I’m fine,” after he steps down off the scale showing he’s lost roughly 10 pounds. “I told you I’m fine,” after he tells me he can only eat and drink a little at a time. “I told you I’m fine,” after he called me from school saying he only made it up two flights of stairs and had to take the elevator the last two, because he felt so weak. “I told you I’m fine,” after he sat in my room and told me that every little sound was magnified and he he just wanted to lay in his bed where it is quiet. “I told you I’m fine,” when he looks into my eyes and he is clearly not.
Son, you are not fine. You will not leave our side. You will see a doctor. I will make sure you get better. These symptoms do not mean that you are fine. To appease me does not make you fine. The only fine thing will be when you smile and tell me how great you feel. For real. That is when you will be fine.
In the meantime I will keep at it. Keep caring about you. Keep watch over you. Keep trying to figure out how to make you fine and heathy. I will never give up. I am your Mother. The only time I am happy is when you are truly ‘fine’.
Good morning! This was my comment after watching this video this morning. You’re going to laugh!
“May 6, 2013… that’s how long I have been saving this video in my email inbox. Today is January 25, 2016! It’s about time right?!?! Yes! So, I watched this 1st wonderful video (while chopping an acorn squash in my kitchen, instead of sitting on my butt. Which is how I started it.) and am thinking… hmmmm… what kind of ritual would I like to have in the morning? Something different than I already have from my amazing life? Ha!! I’ll let you know when I figure that out. Thanks for all you do ladies! Can’t wait for day 2 tomorrow. 🙂 #Healthy #TheLifeOfAMother #JustForMe #TheSelfLoveRevolution”
I’ve been saving them for the right time to focus on “Me”. Haha, can you believe it! Focus on me? You would think I would have watched these a very, very long time ago.
The truth is, I try and focus on myself as much as I can. Yes, I have a super busy life, yes, I like it that way. Husband, Father, 4 Children, Myself… all in one house. Believe it, or not, we have a pretty damn good balance. This doesn’t mean that I don’t get off kilter from time-to-time, because, believe me I do. It just means that this wasn’t first on my list. Does that also mean that, I am not first on my list? No, I definitely try, I just get sidetracked.
After watching this video, I really feel like I need to stop and figure out a ritual that I would like to have that is different from what I already to. Take today for instance… My Husband kissed me goodbye. I got up, used the restroom, put my contacts on, combed any lasting lice eggs out of my youngest Son’s just-washed-hair, cleaned up, washed my face, flossed my teeth, brushed my teeth, put on my skincare products, brushed my hair, then got dressed. Kissed my 3rd Son goodbye for school, cooked 5 scrambled eggs for the 4th Son, ate a yogurt, powdered the two dogs with flea powder, put them in their kennel, then was off to take my 4th Son to school. There was my morning, thus far.
If I just look at that little part of my morning, I think that it was pretty productive.
I didn’t even mention everything that I did after I got back from that school drop off. Let the dogs out of the kennel, the 3 of us made our way upstairs to my room, chatted with the cable company, chatted with the sales guy, Alec, at the gym my boys want to join, cleaned my room, text with my 4 of my girlfriends and 2 of my Nieces, did Day 1 of a 30 day Squat Challenge, vacuumed my bedroom, watched this 1st video while chopping an acorn squash and putting it away for later, then made myself a yummy #LunchForOne, said good morning to my two oldest that have today off from school, had an intense conversation with my 2nd Son about his behavior towards others and how it makes them feel, then finally sat down to blog.
Phew! Haha! Yes, a pretty normal day for me. Now that I read back through all of that, what have I really done for me? Perfect reason for me to find a new ritual. Time to get my head together and figure that out ASAP. Maybe on the drive over to pick up my little Cousin from school? Or, maybe while I’m sitting in the carpool line picking up my youngest Son and 2 others that I drive home on the daily? Haha!
I’ll figure it out. I love to journal. I love to paint. I am a woman who goes through spurts and doesn’t really stick to the thinks I love, unless it is washing my face and tending to myself that way. At least I can say that I take care of myself with using amazing skincare products, having clean and nice clothes, a beautiful closet that I love to dress out of, books that I love to read and living in a town that I can never get enough of. 🙂
Today was a good day. It stated out with watching a couple of episodes of Orange is the New Black in bed. Relaxing and easing into the day.
About 9:30 I rolled out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, moisturized, brushed my hair, then threw on some clothes. Down the stairs I went. Had an apple and gathered my things to head out with my family to the beach.
Sunday is the rest of my families day to hang out with the guys and the kids. They’ve done soccer, ultimate frisbee and now they are on to beach volleyball. It’s a joy to watch them all gather, join teams and play for fun. All of the laughter and smiles on their faces makes me so happy inside. I truly enjoy watching them on Sundays.
After a bit of watching the guys, my friend, Laura, and I walked over to Armida’s tasting room for a little wine tasting. It’s always a treat, both the wine and the wonderful company.
After some wine tasting and great conversation, I made my short trek back home. I had some wonder food to prepare.
Today I made Falafel’s, Garlic Hummus, Basil Pesto and Mint Garlic Pesto. All from scratch. Everything turned out beautiful. Super yummy too.
We had the Falafel’s and some of the hummus for dinner. I’ll use both of the pesto’s this week with my meals. Yum! 🙂
I baked a batch and also friend a batch. I wanted to be able to compare them.
Garlic Hummus
Basil Pine Nut Pesto
Mint Basil Cashew Pesto
By the way… the hummus came out kick-ass! Maybe I should rename it, Kathleen’s Kick-Ass Garlic Hummus? Ha! 🙂
“The City Bathed In Orange” Original Untouched Photograph by Kathleen Shelfer
Last night I attended a Birthday party on the Zinfandel Yacht out of the Alameda Harbor. It was fantastic! I never even fathomed that we would be going under the Bay Bridge and having the most amazing views of The City.
It was 6:30 p.m. and the sun was going down. We all boarded the yacht. With it being such a hot day, we went immediately up to the top deck to cool off and find a seat. As the Birthday Boy boarded the boat, we headed back downstairs to say our hello’s and Happy Birthday. Big hugs too.
I don’t really want to get into then whole logistics of the party. What I really want to talk about is the views of The City. The memories it carries for me and how much I enjoyed remembering them last night.
As I watched the sunset over the Bay I realized what I was looking at. The Bay Bridge with The City in the background. I was in awe. Frozen to the amazing view. I found an open window and just stared.
I am still a little baffled at how to exactly explain how I was feeling. I was happy. Excited. Calm. Just to name a few. Even a little sad. I had memories flying through my head of the great times that I have had there.
San Francisco is the first City that I had fallen in love with. It’s as pure and simple as that. I am so happy that I was able to experience the views of The City at night from the Bay again. It had been too many years. The last time was with my friend, Taylor, one 4th of July when I was 27, or 28. What a night that was! Another story, for another day. 😉
This really stuck with me today. It can’t express how I feel any better. It also reminds me of what I need to do in my life. What I think about constantly, but don’t follow through with. That I need to just speak and not walk on eggshells. That I need to do more for myself and what makes me feel good.
I want to thank, Rachael, a friend on Facebook. One of the very few friends that I have on Facebook, that I have never actually met in person. I adore your drive for life. For peace. For health. For education. ♥
This commercial freaks me out every time I see it. Scares me really.
When I was at the grocery store today getting some tortilla chips and cereal for my Boys, along with a few other items, I look around freaked out. I bought the few things I needed, then I only bought Bananas, Grapes and Cuties in the produce area. I didn’t even see a reason to get anything else. I told myself that I would just hit the fruit stand today later on.
What it all comes down to, is that things have really changed since I was a kid. Yeah, the soda and snacks are still around, but the ingredients have changed. It scares me. I also scares me how much more of it all there is. I don’t want to give my children something that I would regret for their health later. Yes, I said regret. I say that, because I don’t believe in regrets for myself, but for my children it would kill me if I wasn’t feeding them healthy enough today and it affected their health later.
It is up to me to teach them right from wrong. Healthy, and non healthy. I most comfortable with beef, chicken and seafood. Along with fresh vegetables and fruit. Rice on occasion. Pasta on occasion too. It’s hard to care for others.
Don’t get me wrong, I still bake with sugar, butter and flower. I would way rather bake for my children than to buy them junk from the store. It’s not every day though. I’m hoping that I can teach them some balance.
I saw this video again today after Super Bowl, because I was in my Weight Watchers account. Logging my 3.7 ounces chicken breast that I just ate for lunch. I clicked on the link and it just struck me. Hard. Sometimes I feel like what they eat is so out of my hands, it freaks me out. Sigh, I just worry about their healthy future.
It has been quite the lazy summer. I made sure to that after I got up that I immediately got dressed and put on my tennis shoes. I NEEDED to get on that treadmill today. Did a leisurely walk at 3.0 while reading for just under 2 and a half miles. It is a good start
I am down 17 pounds with Weight Watchers since September. Slow, but still great. I have to keep reminding myself that is 21 pounds lighter than my highest weight. Funny thing is that I am still in the same clothes size. Just not as tight and pretty damn close to a 12. I figure at this rate, I will be in a 8 within another year, or so. I’m okay with that.
My motivation has been totally lost with household stuff. Pantry a mess. Closets a mess. Time to tackle a little each week. Today I got into one of the kitchen cabinets and reorganized it and have Carmina doing the refrigerator and freezer.
I have been thinking of starting a new Blog. Just an addition to this one. I wonder if more people like Blogger than WordPress? Hmmm… I may need to do a poll on that one.
My children have been sleeping in pretty late each day and it seems that they aren’t doing much, but swimming and playing on the computers all day. We get out here and there, but with me not driving, that is sometimes impossible. I realize that some things are out of my hands, but doing interactive things aren’t. I need to gain my creative energy back. Especially for them.
I’m a bit pissed at myself for not planning our Summer better this year with an outstanding vacation. My will at the time just wasn’t where it should have been. Sometimes I feel like I am holding the rope with my family behind me in a tug-of-war game and turning asking them if we should pull and never get an answer. That really gets to a person after a while. I just wish I had more enthusiasm with my ideas.
I am loving that my oldest is enjoying his Guardstart Junior Lifeguard class. It is great to see him so independent and enthused. This is the very first thing he had done completely on his own.
I am hoping that a new job comes in this week for my Husband, or a change in his current one. I am in such a need for a change for the positive. In the meantime, I will trudge forward each moment the best I can and make my day great for myself and our Boys.
I am going to pull out my paints today if I can muster up the want to clean the closet everything is buried under. My 6-year-old would be so happy if I did. My soul probably would be too.
As said by Abraham Lincoln… “A person will be just about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” 🙂
Since December 2011 I have done… 1 12k, 1 5k and 3 5k mud runs. I walk most of the way, but get it done. I have a blast with my friends and my family has joined in too!
I started the 100 push-up program again last week. Started second week last night! Woo hoo!! Now if I can just stick to it.
My weight-loss progress has been slow since January, but I am still tooling along. Still losing is what is important.
Last week I was pretty frustrated, but I used that energy and am moving forward this week. One foot in front of the other!
I am only down .1 this week from last Sunday’s weigh-in and that can change at any moment. Last week killed me. Salt, sodium and fried fatty foods are not my friends. I am sure glad that I don’t eat them that often, but last week I let them get to me and it pissed me off! Especially when I was at an all time low. Such an idiot!
Have you ever had that feeling that something is totally out of your hands? Well, I never have, until recently.
I have been wanting desperately to move back to California for over 3 years now. I don’t have a daily job that brings in a major income. My Husband is the provider in our family at this point in our lives. I love being home with my children and would not want to change that for anything in this world. For the first time in my life though I have been unhappy. Not unhappy in a bad way. Not unhappy with my wonderful life. Just unhappy that I feel like I have absolutely no control of this particular situation. A huge situation in my book.
To be able to move our household of 7 my Husband would need to find a new job in California, or be transferred. That hasn’t happened. Again, out of my control. I can’t find the job for him. There are days that I think maybe I should just go ahead and find a job. Yes, I’ll do it! Then I think it through. No more going on field trips, no more getting them off to school, no more being here when they call home and they are sick, hurt, or have forgotten something at home they need at school. No more helping with homework, etc., etc. I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. Back to the starting line.
I just don’t work this way. If there is something that I really want to do, I do it, or find a way. Unfortunately, in this situation, I haven’t been able too and am at a total loss. Is is maddening! Depressing! Frustrating! Irritating! Some days I just can’t understand, or maybe don’t want too, why we can’t just go! Figure it out as we go. In the past when I worked full-time, when ever I wanted to move, I just looked for a place and did it. If I needed a new job I would find it. I know that times are supposed to be different right now, but I still just can’t believe it!
I use positive thinking all the time. Positive thoughts, affirmations, etc. Really. I do it! Still nothing. I am even a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Lately I have been questioning that as well. I don’t want to be in Arizona any more. Don’t get me wrong, I have some good friends here. Yes, they would be missed. But, I’m done. That does NOT mean that I am giving up hope though. I am going to continue trying to figure out a way. Think those positive thoughts and put them out into the universe. I am not weak. I have perseverance and I will not stop until I get there. Sometimes this has to come with some harsh realizations, but when you feel this strongly about a situation you just have to go for it! 🙂
“The City Bathed In Orange” Original Untouched Photograph by Kathleen Shelfer
#TheLifeOfAMother 