Tag Archive | boy

3 Weeks Today I Left My First Born at College.

It’s been 3 weeks today! Oh man, I’m dying! Hahaha!! Laugh if you will, laugh at me, go ahead. I don’t care. I’m laughing at myself a little bit too. I can’t help it though. I miss him!

I was walking upstairs last night and glanced down the hall to his room. I shouted, “Where’s Alex?!” From the office I hear, “what?” from my husband. I started to laugh and said, “I’m just kidding, but I was hoping that he was just in his room taking a nap.” Oh man did I.

On the other hand, I know he is exactly where he needs to be. He is working hard, starting to feel the stress of his classes, making friends, found the grocery store, took a friend out to sushi, learning the bus system, attended his first football game (that got delayed, then canceled and rescheduled for the next day) and sat in the sweltering metal stands, joined his first club, feels bored from time-to-time and so much more. Yes, he is exactly where he needs to be. I just keep telling myself that.

Each day I expect to see him come downstairs to take his shower. Come into the kitchen with his wet hair and a smile on his face, hug me and tell me good morning. Ask me how I am. Fill up his bowl with Cheerios and warm them up in the oven. Filling the kitchen with scents of oats. Watch him tiptoe to the kitchen table to eat and read his fan fiction sites. I miss those morning. I miss it all.

It’s so odd to be so torn as a parent. Knowing you are doing the right thing and feeling sad in your heart all at once. Remembering that you are doing the right thing, but feeling the sadness of the persons absence. Especially for a person like me that doesn’t usually feel separation anxiety. Ever. I guess there is a first for everything.

Over this past weekend, a long 3-day weekend, he didn’t want to come home. We were on a FaceTime call and I mentioned him coming home. I could tell he didn’t want to say that he didn’t want to by the look on his face. Also, that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. He is so sweet that way. I let it go and said we could chat about it again another time and to just think about it, knowing that I knew didn’t want to come home yet.  I talked myself though it in my head… ‘Okay, he is happy, having fun, him not wanting not come home is a good thing. Right? Right! Keep remembering that, Kathleen.’ That went on for a long time. Over several days. Hahaha!! Yes, several days.

Guess what I am doing tomorrow? Going to see him!! Damn straight! When we spoke last night I told him that I was coming for a visit. That I missed him and that I couldn’t stand it any more! Hahaha!! He looked happy. (He also told me that his friend Zoei was dying to meet me. That’s pretty cool!) When I told him I was bringing my camping pad to sleep on his dorm floor, he kind of snickered and didn’t now what to say or how to react. Hahaha!! I left it in his court to come up with one. Told him that I would call him today. What he doesn’t know is that I have already looked at AirBNB for places to stay in town. Hahaha!! I just want to see if he can come up with a plan, because he knows that I WILL sleep on his floor. If you know me, you know I am super good at flying by at the seat of my pants, but always have some type of plans in my head just in case.

I must say, with the sadness of missing my Son, the proud and happy feelings of him happy supersedes the sadness by far.  🙂

xoxo

Lessons

My #2 Son is 13. In 8th grade they have to do 8 hours of community service. It’s due by January 16th. He’s been dragging his feet.

I feel like he needs to learn how to do things independently. Without a reminder from me. Obviously, he hasn’t been following up with his original contact person to put his plan in motion. Now it is the holidays and hard to reach who he needs to, to get the ball rolling.

Last night while at dinner, I told him that his day needed to start with having a date and time set up for his community service assignment. Until he did that, he isn’t going to be doing anything else. No computers, no surfing, etc.

He just came upstairs and said that he’s spent the last two hours trying to get in touch with his original contact. He has had no response.

I explained to him about the problem of waiting to do something until the last minute. Also, how the holidays can put you at a stand still. There are lessons that need to be learned from your actions, or when action and follow through just sits there waiting, because you have done nothing.

I suggested he call the local public libraries. See if they could use his help. He called. One is closed today and the other doesn’t open until noon. Again, the waiting game.

I told him that he needs to think of something that interest him and call them. He said the “teaching tech to seniors” is something that he is interested. He just isn’t getting a response from his email, or call. Again, I explained that waiting until last minute and especially during the holidays is going to be a hard lesson for him to learn. These types of thing just aren’t as assessable if you haven’t already set them up. Most people aren’t around and some businesses are closed.

Anyway, he is still waiting to receive returned phone calls and emails. I hope this lesson will be a good one for his future. 🙂

XO

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