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Photos Are Our History

Good morning!☀️🌞😃 

This is such a true statement. I’ve talked to people that have burned, thrown away or tore up old photos. I don’t believe in that. I think that photos are your history. With good memories, or bad. They are still your history and something that should be cherished.

I wish that I had more photos of myself when I was young. I have one of myself with my father. I have another of myself with my Mother. Another of my Grandmother, myself and my Cousin Keith. A couple of myself while very young alone while enjoying summer vacation. A couple teenage ones. Now, a lot as an adult. 

I take tons of photos of my children. They hold so many memories for me. One day when they look at them, I hope they will hold wonderful memories for them and show them their history.

That brings me to another subject. Don’t forget to save and also print out the photos on your phones. I think thousands, even millions, of photos are getting lost each day, because we dont download them and print them out. What a waste. Take some time and do it. You will be happy you did. 🙂

xoxo 

One Lonely Mommy

 

I think I just need to get right to it.

I cried to 3 of my Boys the day before yesterday. I was a mess.  Don’t get me wrong, I was super happy waking up, even after dropping off my 3rd Son for his 8th grade trip, whom I am missing immensely.

I woke up and was ready for a great day. A friend of mine shot me a message asking if we wanted to go over to the Boardwalk for a while then over to the swim center for some free swim time.  Sounded great to me!

I went into the office to run the plan by my 3 Boys that are home for Spring Break. None of them budged from in front of their computers.  They all said, “No thank you Mom.”

You know what? I went upstairs and cried. Then I came back downstairs and told them all why. I told them that i am sad and my heart hurts, because I feel like they don’t like to spend time with me.  Ever. That I always have to be the bad guy and pressure them to do, anything.  I mean anything.  A movie, a hike, camping, go out to eat. You name it.

You know what people? There are days that I feel so lonely and I live in a house with 6 other people. The majority of them sit on their computers all day.  In that damn office, all 5 of them, and I won’t see anyone for hours. I don’t get asked what I’m up too. I don’t get asked anything. Some days no one will even come and talk to me.  The only time I get any communication is when I ask if someone wants something to eat, ask if they want to do something, or go somewhere, or if I go into the office and speak to them. That sucks!  That’s lonely.

This isn’t a poor-me post. This is real. My feelings are real. My life is real. I miss my kids. All. The. Time. They can stay away from me when they are in college, or get wives of their own, dammit! I love my kids and want to do all kinds of fun things with them. It freaks me out when my family doesn’t want to spend time with me. Not even an hour of hiking, or going to the damn grocery store.  Come on!

Is it so much to want to feel like I am loved, needed, wanted and fun to be around? Is it so awful to want someone to make the plans with me for a change? I’m not talking about my friends. I mean my family, especially the ones that live in my house. I crave family time. Crave it terribly. So terribly that I broke down this week. Damnit.

I feel like it shouldn’t even be a thought in my head to feel like this. I do my best at all time, to spend time with my Husband and children. All the time. It feels like shit to get turned down.  Constantly.

Okay, I’m done. It doesn’t change the way I feel though.  It doesn’t change how lonely I feel a lot of the time in my own home. 

xo

 

Subject: Stufff

I just wanted to share something from my Son.

I had received a text message while out running errands that read…

Can I please have 50$ of my report card money, the total is 105 but I only need 50 currently.

Mommmm plz

?

I responded back with a, 👍 (thumbs-up emoticon). I was out and about and don’t like to text while driving.

After I got home from my errands, he and I had a conversation regarding, what he wanted the money for. He told me it was for some type of upgrade for his Minecraft game. He knows how I feel about wasting (I think it is a waste) on things like this. It should be used on things that you hold and use physically. Later,  I received this email…

To: Kathleen Shelfer                                                   March 13, 2016 at 5:07 PM

From: Pierce Shelfer

Subject: Stufff

                     Why People Like Things
     Recently I asked you if I could get a game “upgrade” as you say it, and you said it’s a waste of money if you’re not going to use it frequently for example I’m using this upgrade for Minecraft. I like playing games, I like playing sports, and this is for a reason as this study shows. By Ted O’Callahan A piece of chocolate is among life’s simple, certain pleasures. The cocoa smell, the velvety feel as it melts on your tongue, and the taste—sweet and bitter—that stays in the mouth, all combine to create a heady experience. But what about the experience of carefully selecting and anticipating a favorite brand—peeling back gold foil wrapping, feeling the shape of the bar in your fingers. How much is that part of why you enjoy your favorite chocolate? Yale psychologist Paul Bloom argues that it’s easy to miss the complexity that underlies pleasure. His work looks at the subtleties of everyday behaviors like distinguishing art from everything else, the intuitive sense of fairness that children display, and the feeling of pleasure. That last topic resulted in a book, How Pleasure Works, in which Bloom shows how the most obvious factors—a catchy melody or mouthwatering smells—don’t explain pleasure fully. “Pleasure is affected by deeper factors, including what the person thinks about the true essence of what he or she is getting pleasure from,” he notes in the book. You see mom and dad, I have a reason for liking these things physiologically. I have fun with these things I buy with games, I know Mom that you wouldn’t understand why I like to do these things but I’ll do an example of why you like to do something. For example, you like to go hiking or buy makeup. Life is your game and you like to buy these “upgrades” such as makeup. You buy makeup because it makes you feel good, well mom and dad buying these “upgrades” for these games make me feel good, and so it is not a waste because it makes us feel good that makes it not a waste of money since we all use “upgrades”.
     Mischievously,
     Pierce Shelfer
                     ^^Please Read All of the Above^^

I must say, this child-of-mine, always has an amazing argument. That we have taught him well. Thoughtful, smart, witty, and well thought through. I love him with every breath I take.

At 13, he talks about becoming an Attorney or a Radiologist. Owning his own practice. When we were in the pediatricians office the other day, he looked at me and said, “This isn’t what my medical office is going to look like.” What a cool conversation that was. All of the equipment he would have, the technology, the decor. He has his head in the right direction. I can’t wait to see what he becomes. I know it will be great. 🙂

xoxo

Movies that make you go hmmm…

 I love a movie that just gets your thoughts flowing… What would it be like to hike the PCT? Am I out of control in my life? Would my Boys be sad if I died? Why haven’t I bought a new pair of hiking books, I love to hike? Am I wasting my life? What is my full potential? I wonder if I make my family happy? Does Andrew still love me the way he used to? Am I boring? Am I disgusting? Am I happy? I’m so happy the weather is cool today. I’m happy I got those counters decluttering in the kitchen today. I don’t want to die. What time is it? I miss camping. I wonder how much the train is to Oregon? I wonder if I make Andrew happy? Don’t forget to ask Dad if he can pick Devin up today. Maybe I should look into posting those bikes on Craigslist. I could totally hike for miles in my Tevas. I wonder what kinds of essentials I would need for a long backpacking trip? I need to book us a trip to the Treesort. I wonder which train station is closest to the Treesort? I wonder if Andrew would be up for a train ride? I wonder if Andrew can get some time off work? I haven’t ridden my bike for a while, maybe I’ll take it over to Perfectly Pressed tomorrow. I need to start riding that hill more often to get stamina. One day it will get easier, right? Why am I so hungry today? I wonder how many points that juice was I drank this morning? I wonder how many points beets juiced are? What the hell is with all of these “national” days? I wonder who decides and creates these “national” days? They’re kind of dumb, are people that bored? I would never do heroine. Why are my eyes bothering me so much?

My crazy thoughts for an afternoon. I must say though, that movies as these get your juices flowing. I like that. 😀

xo

New Year Resolutions

I don’t do New Year Resolutions.  I always tell people I am amazing at helping reach other people’s goals, but my own, not so much.  I’ve always put them out there, have even taken planning skills classes.  Complete with daytime’s, goal setting pages, etc.  No such luck.  I don’t know why, it all just doesn’t seem to happen for me, or maybe it just all doesn’t seem that important.  More important than the big picture.  I am more of a live in the moment type of person.  I think about things I want to do constantly.  For instance… travel more, get my ass to Europe ASAP, lose 50 pounds, clean the house, be a better mother, start cooking more again, get out the door and take that walk, finish emptying these damn boxes, work a my Boys’ schools again, and so much more.  What it all really comes down to, for me, is to just get up and get going.  Some days, not.  Some days I just want to read all day.  Some days I just want to get in my car and drive.  Other days I would just love to get on a plane with my family and go, go, go.  Today I am going to blog.  🙂

xo

P.S. I miss my housekeeper.  Ha!

Lessons

My #2 Son is 13. In 8th grade they have to do 8 hours of community service. It’s due by January 16th. He’s been dragging his feet.

I feel like he needs to learn how to do things independently. Without a reminder from me. Obviously, he hasn’t been following up with his original contact person to put his plan in motion. Now it is the holidays and hard to reach who he needs to, to get the ball rolling.

Last night while at dinner, I told him that his day needed to start with having a date and time set up for his community service assignment. Until he did that, he isn’t going to be doing anything else. No computers, no surfing, etc.

He just came upstairs and said that he’s spent the last two hours trying to get in touch with his original contact. He has had no response.

I explained to him about the problem of waiting to do something until the last minute. Also, how the holidays can put you at a stand still. There are lessons that need to be learned from your actions, or when action and follow through just sits there waiting, because you have done nothing.

I suggested he call the local public libraries. See if they could use his help. He called. One is closed today and the other doesn’t open until noon. Again, the waiting game.

I told him that he needs to think of something that interest him and call them. He said the “teaching tech to seniors” is something that he is interested. He just isn’t getting a response from his email, or call. Again, I explained that waiting until last minute and especially during the holidays is going to be a hard lesson for him to learn. These types of thing just aren’t as assessable if you haven’t already set them up. Most people aren’t around and some businesses are closed.

Anyway, he is still waiting to receive returned phone calls and emails. I hope this lesson will be a good one for his future. 🙂

XO

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BAD, Fun Mommy!

This is how it’s been going in my house…

“Good morning!  We’re going to go to the swimming hole today in the mountains” (talking to my youngest two while they are sitting on their computers in the office).

“Good Morning, Mom,” they both say.

“Wait, what are you talking about? You made us go to the Boardwalk yesterday.  Why are you forcing us to do things that we don’t want to do?  I don’t want to go anywhere.” Complains my #3 Son with an exasperated and stressed look on his face.

“You know, you can get as mad at me as you want.  It’s summer.  We are going to enjoy it and life while we can.  You’re going to go and have some fun and get out of this office.  I can just take your computer privileges away for the summer, then maybe you would lean that there is more to do than just sit in a room all day and play on your computer.  So, be ready, we are leaving to be there by noon.” Then I left the room to make breakfast.

A few minutes later I walked into the office after my husband came in from outside and his conference call. “So, apparently I’m the bad guy, because I want to spend the day with the Boys at the river swimming at a swimming hole.”  My husband just made a quirky face.  He knows exactly what I’m talking about.  They do it to me all the time.

Then, my #4 says, “A hole, why are we swimming in a hole?”  While he is giggling and being silly.

As I’m in the kitchen making breakfast, my #3 came in and said he was sorry with a big hug.  Not once, but twice.  He is super, super sweet.  I wasn’t even mad or upset.  It’s nice that he doesn’t want me feeling that way though.  I’m thankful that he can say he is sorry.  I told him that we were going to have a great day.

I truly love my Boys.  Now off to wake up the older two and go through the same conversation with them.  Hahaha!  🙂

xo