One Day I Hope You Will Appreciate Me

fullsizeoutput_ff72I know having a house full of teenagers can be trying on a parent. Believe me, I feel it every week. It’s not always one of their moods, actions, or something that they say. Some days it is everything that goes along with being a parent that we do for them.

Today I was talking to three of my Son’s and one of their friends. My three oldest are off to college in ten days. Of course I want to discuss the plan to get them moved into their dorms in 10 days. To get their stuff unloaded, set up, etc. It always kind of sucks when they are like, “why do you need to do that? Why do you need to stay?” Especially after just explaining why. Also, when all you are doing is trying to give them everything they will need when they are away from me for the next school year.

I think that my oldest Son is really the only one that is finally getting how much I do for them each and every day. How much attention to details, schedules and situations that only I deal with. For school, for our household, for our lives. Sometimes I think they have no clue what truly has to get done to get from point A to point B. That things aren’t  just magically that way to begin with.

This past year has brought a whole new set of struggles. Ones that I tackle each day head-on. Trying to stay as positive as I can to work through each situation. Sometimes situations that cannot be put on a back burner. Especially when handling college with 3 children all at one time. It’s been trying, but I forge forward each day with great intentions. Some days I cry, some days I am mad, some days I am full of  positive intentions, some days I am scared as hell, some days I am full of pride, some days I have more frustration than I think I can handle, some days I am smiling, but every day I push forward. Every day I look forward to the next day.

I know that some parents never help their children with their college applications, visits, deadlines, financial aide, schedules, orientations, signing up for classes, applying for dorms, signing up for the health care, sending mandatory inoculation records, getting the final transcripts, setting up meal plans, acquiring every thing for their dorm room, making sure they have a state ID in order to get their college OneCard that they will use for everything on campus, school loans, and many other things… is that enough? It’s a lot and that’s just my college kids at this time.  Throw in high school, grades, graduations, summer school, sports, hormones, ACT/SAT testing, blah blah blah into the mix. Everything is for them.

I know that the teenage years are the hardest. Believe me, I was a teenager once and hard to deal with some days. I just hope that my Mother felt appreciated and loved. I remember she would tell me she loved me and how she felt about me even after those teen years. I feel so thankful. I know how much I appreciated her. Especially during the hard times we went though in our household at that time. I’m glad that I told her I loved her each day and I took care of her and told her that I appreciated her. We took care of each other, even on the last day we were together.

I just hope that one day my children will look back and finally appreciate me for everything that I am doing for them. I hope one day they will finally have an, ah-ha moment. I hope they come to me and say, shit, thank you. Just that simple.

Why is it important, you ask? Well, I really just want to know that I raised my children the best I could and if they come to me that day with appreciation, then I will know I did it right. They may not see it now, but I really hope they will one day, because honestly, it is all for them.

I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I am so very happy each and every day that I am. I cherish each and every day no matter what it brings me. I take it in. I bask in it’s crazy ups and downs. I wake up each day with a smile. I will keep doing that for the rest of my life. In my eyes there is no other way. It’s the life that I have wanted and the way I want to live. I love my family, I love my life.

XOXO

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