I woke up tired. Of course on this day my Boys choose to try my patience. Actually, they have been doing it since last night, which is kind of off for them. They don’t usually test me all at the same time so much. I don’t know why I always feel terrible after. It really isn’t that big of a deal right? Explaining right from wrong, explaining what they need to be doing and not doing, explaining the consequences of lying if that is what they are thinking of doing… on and on. Well, today it wore me out. Now and hour and a half since they have been gone I feel like shit and I feel like crying. I think of the look on my oldest face and it is that I AM the bully here. Ug. I explained that I am not the Bully. Then I tell him that I am the good guy, I actually tell all 4 of them, I am the good guy, I am the one that loves you the most in this world and it makes me feel horrible when they look at me that way. I am their Mother and they are supposed to know that, right? Well, I hope so, but this morning I don’t feel that way. I am a mess and trying not to let these tears come billowing out there are sitting of the very edge of my eyelids.
I canceled my lunch and have decided on a little shoe therapy, a workout and maybe a nap. I am heading out-of-town tonight and I want my mood to change. I started to pick up the things from a little party that was moved to my house last night and came across this wonderful little card… I just adore it and though, oh what a great little saying… “Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake”. Then I got to thinking… well, do I really want a cupcake? It sure would be yummy and tasty, then I thought… you know what I haven’t had in a while. On a day especially like today when I am feeling down. Not something I have done actually in a couple of years, but it did seem to help oh so many years ago when I first felt this way. What the heck! Just a big of vodka… … Oh yes I did. Deep breathe… now I am on my way. It’s time for a new attitude, oh and water the rest of the day. 😉