Not tonight…

I was supposed to be writing a blog post tonight that is an assignment from a Challenge that I am doing.  Long and short of it, I am supposed to write like it is 2013 and what great things I did in 2012.  Unfortunately, I don’t think that is going to get done tonight.  Here’s why…

I was out for a bike ride tonight with my 4 Boys.  My youngest is 6.  I was hoping to get out and get some exercise.  Unfortunately I don’t feel like that really happened.  Yes, we rode almost 3 miles, but over an hour.  As I was riding I was thinking about my assignment.  All I could think about is why my 6-year-old isn’t comfortable riding his bike.  Well, because I haven’t taken him on enough bike rides.  I don’t make him get off the damn computers and play outside enough.  Then it just escalated from there.  Why my 12-year-old has gotten worse and worse at his spelling, which is now affecting his hand writing.  Why, because I haven’t worked with him enough over the past year, because I have been in a crappy depression for the past year and a half.

I guess when I get frustrated I start to blame everything on myself.  Everything in my life and my Children’s lives.  Me, me, me. I suck!  Ug.  I will stop right there, because I could really go on and on about my last 2 years.  It has gone by in a blink of an eye and I feel like nothing has been accomplished.  I may be over reacting, but that is why I am NOT doing my assignment tonight.  It will have to wait until morning, or tomorrow night when I am hopefully in a better light.  🙂


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