So many dynamics…

I woke up pretty happy today. Making sure my Boys had a ride to school. Kissed my Husband good-bye as he left for work.  Got dressed. Contacts on. Helped my youngest find something to wear for RED WHITE and BLUE Day today at school. Then it happened… I must tell you that sometimes I am just like a sponge.  Any negative thoughts, words, or actions that come my way I am usually pretty good about steering them in a different direction.  Not today.

With 7 people in our household the dynamics are up and down each day.  If one person is off I feel it.  I try to change it, or mold it.  Make it a good morning.  When I can’t do that I explain myself to the person, speaking about my 3rd Son today, and try to make them see what they are doing.  When it happens over and over in a period of 30 minutes I just lose it. I feel like they don’t care.  I fight back the tears, try not to say un-thoughtful words and try to teach them that their negativity affects everything around them.

I don’t want my children to smile or be happy, because I have told them to do so.  Or because they think that they won’t be able to play on the computer that day.  I want them to truly be happy.  Smile when they wake up in the morning.  Do what is right.  Make good decisions.  I don’t feel like that is too much to ask.

Why is it that we have to “take something away” from them to get them to do what is right?  Why does punishment have to be involved? I don’t want to be the one telling them what to do every day.  I want it to come naturally. Calmly.

I want to be happy and find it hard on those days that the negative energy has encompassed me.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like the way it feels.  I can feel it vibrating inside of me.  So now, I am writing to help eliminate the crap.  Then I am going to do some yoga in my living room.  Followed by a little something for breakfast while turning up the music loud.  I am hoping these things will start my day anew.  🙂

xo

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