A week ago today… Sunday, May 29, 2010. My oldest Son had his first preteen kiss.
My 4 Boys were invited to the 2 little Girls’ house down the street. They visit their Father here on our block on the weekends. They are 11 and 9. It was the day before Memorial day and they dropped a note/invitation the day before. Of course I let them go. I had met the Father and Girlfriend a few months back and they seemed nice enough.
At 3:00 p.m. my 4 Boys headed down there with their towels and chips and dip in hand. “You always bring something to a party if you can.” I reminded them. They were happy to do so. The funny thing though is apparently my 5-year-old went to open the bag of chips once they got there and it popped and they all came out the bottom. Funny!
One hour later my youngest showed back up at home. My Husband and I were watching a movie in our room and just hanging out. He said that he was done and Alex walked him home. I asked him if he had a good time? He said he had. I also asked him what everyone was doing. He said swimming and then playing Spin The Bottle. Lovely I thought. He said they were playing it in the backyard. Later he went back.
I was making dinner in the kitchen and here came by Boys around 7:00. My 8-year-old came right in and told me that Alex and Alaina kissed. I started to get freaked out. Here came the rest of them. They all sat down at the kitchen table and started blurting out this and that. I lost my temper. There is a boy down the street that I don’t actually trust most of the time. It doesn’t surprise me that he was the big mouth and the instigator of what happened. I yelled at my Boys about this kid. He always seems to piss me off. Anyway, after I ranted I stopped myself. I saw that I was freaking my oldest out. My Husband said that before he came to the table he was writing in his journal. Now I felt bad… pretty typical for me. Then I started to apologize for over reacting.
I asked Alex if he would explain exactly what had happened. He said they went up on her balcony… a 5-year-old, an 8-year-old, 2 9-year-olds, a 10-year-old and 2 11-year-olds. The 10-year-old Boy from down the street suggested that they play Spin The Bottle Truth, Dare, or Kiss. When Alex spun the bottle it landed on Alaina and they told Alex he had to kiss her. Apparently they postponed it until they were leaving to come home. Then the pressure was on. Again, apparently again from this Boy. They had to kiss for 7 seconds. Alex said they that they did. After he explained what had happened he looked upset. I apologized again for over reacting. Then I apologized again like 3 more times.
How am I suppose to react? I had a big talk with my Boys that night about peer-pressure. What it is and gave them examples. Also told them that it is okay not to do things that are uncomfortable, or something that you just don’t want too. Even if someone is trying to get you too. We went in to pretty deep conversation over dinner.
After dinner it was just Alex and I at the table. He stayed and talked to me for a long time. He said that he was confused. He did know how he felt during the kiss. He kind of went blank. I told him that it is okay that he kissed her, but I never want him to feel pressured into anything again. I want it to be something that he wants to do. Something special. Make it something special. Also that it is okay to say no, and to be a kid a bit longer. Then I apologized again. Ug! I felt so bad for overreacting at the beginning.
Anyway, he invited Alaina and her Sister over today. We all hung out. She is so mature compared to him. LOL! No wonder he is confused, he has no clue. She talks about having this boyfriend and that boyfriend and it just goes right over his head. I am thankful about his being nieve to an extent. That means that I get to keep my baby for a little longer.
I was worried about the situation in the beginning, because Spin The Bottle isn’t for kids their age… so young. A 5-year-old and all the others? Come on! I did find it funny though when they told me what they were having people do… eat grass, jump over walls… kid stuff. My Boys also did admit that they had no idea what the game was, so of course they wanted to play. It was something new. I told them that if they need help in figuring something out they can always call me, or come and ask, no matter what it is. I am glad that we have some communication and hope it always stays that way.
Tonight when Alex and the Boys walked the 2 Girls home I asked Alex if he gave Alaina a hug good-bye. He said, “We high-fived and said bye.” Yep, a kid just a little longer please. 🙂