WordPress A Post A Day/Week #29 ~ It’s Time To Vent

It’s time to Vent…

What’s going on in your life right now that’s driving you nuts?

I am way behind on my posts.  I have been sick for almost 2 weeks.  As well as my Children and Husband taking turns being sick as well.  I will catch up on all of the “topics” that have been posted though, so please bear with me.

Recently I was put in a situation that was born through gossip.  I still haven’t been able to shake the unnerving feeling that it gave me.  The fire was put out, but I just don’t like that it stemmed in the first place.  Gossip fricking bothers me, big time.  I think it is mean, I think it is uncalled for.  What is missing in other people’s lives to start shit and say things about other people who are supposed to be their friends when it isn’t true.  What kind of people are they really?  I just don’t get it!  Anyway, that is one thing that has been bugging me lately.

I am not usually one to bitch and moan.  I have a pretty good damn life.  I realize that we all have our ups and downs and I try to keep it in perspective, even during the hardest of times.  My Husband is out of a job.  He got laid-off after working at this company for 8 years.  The last paycheck came in on December 31st.  Needlesstosay, the money is gone, no savings, no paycheck coming in.  A $240 weekly Unemployment check will barely cover the house bills and that isn’t even counting the mortgage payment.  He is a mess, not sleeping, not eating much, applying for everything, interviewing when the chance comes up and doing all he can.  There are 100 other people, if not more, interviewing for the same jobs.  It is hard times out there still.  I try to stay positive.  Get the bills paid when the money comes in.  I am a genius when it comes to making meals, so food is always thriving and I think that helps matters a bit. I am trying to keep the calm, so our family doesn’t feel affected.  I try to stay positive, not only for myself, but for my Boys and my Husband.  Not an easy task I must tell you, but I do my best.  Again, just one more thing that has been bugging me lately.

40 pounds, that is all I need to lose.  As my friend Rita said to me yesterday while we were talking in the dressing area of my bathroom before we went out… “Won’t you be totally skinny if you lose 40 pounds? You don’t seem like you need to lose that much?”  She could be right.  I told her that I was 142 pounds when I met my Husband and got pregnant with my first Son.  20 pounds would be amazing, but 40 would be perfect.  I would look great I would hope, but if I got to 30, or 35 I would just stop there if going to 40 would make me too “skinny”. What I told she and our friend Natasha was that I wish that I cared enough to lose it.  I think that is my biggest problem is that I just haven’t cared.  I thought about this a lot today and I can’t figure out why I don’t care.  Am I just that happy with myself?  Well, I must not be if I look in the mirror, or at a picture and I think… crap, I look really heavy in that picture.  I want to get to a point that I do care and I do it.  Maybe once all of this unknown of my Husbands job and wanting to move back to California is past I will care more about me?  Time will tell.  🙂

xo

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