30 Days – Day 12

Day 12 – The Person You Hate Most/Caused You A Lot Of Pain

I can truly say that I don’t hate anyone.  The only person that I can think of that caused me a lot of pain is my Mother.  Not her directly, but her death.  I struggle with it constantly.  I remember all of the wonderful times we had, then kick myself for not learning more about her.  I dream about her, I talk to her, I cry over her, I am sad that she never knew my children and never had a chance to meet my Husband.  I am in pain over her death all of the time and haunted by what she went through up to that time and what I saw and had to go though as well.  This is the only thing that I can say that has truly brought me pain.  I love my Mother and miss her every day.  She died on November 13, 1998 and sometimes it feels like yesterday that I walked into the house and found her dead.  A memory that is hard to forget.  It is said that it gets easier after someone so important to you dies.  Well, it does and it doesn’t. There are good days and bad ones.  Good weeks and not so good weeks.  I can truly say that there are more good ones not then sad ones, but the pain still exists.  I love you Mom!  🙂

xo

2 thoughts on “30 Days – Day 12

  1. Wow! Great post… so sorry of your loss and what you continue to miss every day. That would be really hard to go through! Even though my mom & I have some disagreements or whatever here & there we are very close and I don’t know what I would do not being able to call and talk with her. I’m sure she watches over you and sees your kids grow up and knows and loves them. She may not physically be there but spiritually she is.

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