Anxiety Within

Ever wake-up in the morning and you just feel off?  Well, I do.  It started after I had my 3rd Son.  Hormones is what they tell me. Out of the blue BAM!!  There it is.  Somedays are worse than others.  At the beginning I didn’t know what it was, then I started paying attention.  It has gotten better over the years, but today I think is one of those day.

It confuses me, because I got woken up by my Husband.  Sex on his mind.  How bad can that be right?  The sex is always good, no problems there.  Then we are off to the shower, or should I say that he was first.  I joined him.  His mood still not very bright… shouldn’t it be after a nice climax though?  Hmmm… sometimes I wonder if my moods are sometimes swayed from the person that I am around the most.  If his mood is off would that affect me?  In some occasions I would say yes.  On the other had I notice the mood and try to stay my positive jovial self, but at times that can be really hard.  Like today.

Our bodies can really confuse me with all of the chemistry going on.  One day up, the next down for some.  For me it is usually several weeks up, then there it is, that one day down.  Thank goodness it is just one day though.

What am I going to do about it?  I took a Flouxetine this morning just in case.  I used to take it every day for PPMD, but then realized that I didn’t need it everyday.  I would rather not take anything anyway.  So, I take it as needed.  When I wake up feeling as I can only describe as “off”.  It is for everyone around me really.  I don’t like to lose my temper, snap, or take things the wrong way on these days, so I prepare myself.  Physically.  Mentally.  Chemically.

This isn’t the usual thing that I write about, but I am thinking that I am getting a little more used to this blog thing.  I kind of like it.  I love to journal and thought that this might take its place, but it hasn’t.  I think there is a blog, where maybe I can write things that people can relate to… or something like that.  Then there is my journal where I can write what ever I want.

I am going to get out of here and head to the gym in a few.  Getting out of the house I think will work good for me too.  Walking 5 miles minimum today.  That is if my back doesn’t start screaming at me.  I am on day 5 of my “liquid diet”.  Down to 181 today… that is 8 pounds total and 6 pounds since this experiment diet.  I just really want to keep it off this time.  Walking is a great way for me to stay motivated.  🙂

xo

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