Sigh…

Just when you think all is well, there is always something that stirs the pot. 

As a Mother, I just want everything to be done. To be happy. To go smoothly. 

Sigh. 

A deadline missed. An email from the teacher. Another dinner on the calendar. Another assignment missed. Another headache. Another dirty look. Another conference. Another tear. 

I’m tired. I am emotionally drained. 

I just want it all to fix itself sometimes and that never works though. It’s my job to be the fixer. The pest. The alarm clock. The calendar. The to-to List. The bad guy. The middle-man. The broken record. The target. 

I want to be the hugger. The smiler. The laugher. The one to make you happy. 

This Mother is tired and off to try and sleep.  At least going to try and watch something until I fall asleep. 

Good night friends. πŸ˜€

βŒβ­•οΈ

My Children and Understanding Organic

I had to laugh today. One of my Son’s was home sick today and he was looking for something to cook in the pantry as I was getting ready to walk out the door to pick up his Brothers from school. He was in a, butter noodle, mood.

He says from the pantry, “everything Organic is disgusting!”

I proceeded to tell him that organic noodles taste no different from non-organic noodles. I explained to him why something is considered organic. We went back and forth a bit.

When I got home a bit later, I saw he had the bowl of noodles. The organic ones. I think I finally, finally taught him what Organic means. Or maybe it was that he finally just listened. Ha!

He kept thinking that somehow when something is organic it didn’t taste good, or the ingredients were somehow tainted and would make the product taste gross. Hahaha! Just goes to show that people can be so narrow-minded. Also, those narrow minded people can choose to listen and understand what the facts are.

I love that he listened. πŸ™‚

xoxo

Who you were before…

fullsizeoutput_c6c8What a great question this poses. “Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” Can you? I can.

I think I have always tried to be pretty true to myself. I mostly do what I want, with giving myself just a few restrictions. It makes me seem a kinder person. Ha!

I did always want to be a mother. I’m super happy with that party of my life. Even though some days can be really, really hard. I love being a mother so much. My Boys are amazing. I do cry not wanting them to grow older, but I wonder what amazing men they will be one day.

I had a friend from the past message me on Facebook several years ago. He said something like… “You are the only person I know that had done what you said that you were going to when you got older. You always told us that you wanted a family. To have children and be married. But, you still always wanted to have fun. See your friends. Dance, laugh, enjoy life. You did it. I’m so happy to still know you.” I cherish those words. Especially coming from someone who knew me when I was living it to the fullest and partying and working in San Francisco. Party every night, work every day. It was a wild and fun time.

I always try to be a good wife, family member, friend and mentor. People seem to like me, other’s, not so much. It is what it is. Sometimes I wish that I knew why those others didn’t like me sometimes, or why they were cold and distant. It’s that honesty thing again I suppose. Not everone has it. Some people treat it like a game.

The only thing I really struggle with is wanting to be honest and true to myself all of the time. A lot of people are so, so very defensive when you are honest with them. I always explain it as… having to walk on egg shells. It sucks actually. I feel like it makes me hold back. Makes me not always have a smile on my face. Makes me not communicate like I want to and like I would like to. I do it just to avoid conflict, when I feel in my heart that I shouldn’t have to ever try to avoid anything. To me it isn’t negative, or trying to create conflict, it is just honest communication. To others, I am mean, one-sided, bossy, blah, blah, blah.

When did honesty turn into something negative? I know when. When the other person turns it into something negative, that’s when.

Anyway, I’m happy 95% of the time. I think that is pretty damn good. I try not to let the world and others dictate how I live my life, how I feel, what I say or how I think. The other 5% I give in, mostly because I care too damn much. πŸ™‚

xo

 

 

Now Home… New Hikes

​​​

 

​Today I went on my first hike in our new home area. It was amazing!

We did just under 5 miles at the William B. Umstead State Park. We walked the Loblolly trail. Isn’t that a funny name? Ha!

Anyway. My new friend, Sharon, and I met up with two gals (sisters) from a local hiking MeetUp group. The 4 of us had a great time. Hiking. Chatting. Enjoying the gorgeous morning.

img_6873-1
After our hike we enjoyed a burger and beer lunch. Hung out and chatted. It was so nice to get out with some girls and just hang out.

I look forward to doing it again soon! πŸ€“

βŒβ­•οΈ

Thieves Suck!

Today I thought I would share my little rant about thieves, before I head off to bed.

Where I just moved from, Santa Cruz County, CA, is riddled with stuff going on lately. Break-ins to homes and business, car chases, porch package bandits, murders… you name it. It’s pretty awful. If you don’t believe me, look it up.

It makes me sad, because I love it there so much. I worry about my friends and family. Especially the kids running around by themselves. I would just die if something happened to any of them! I really hope that the clean-up that they are putting into motion starts to show soon.

I’m putting my good energy out there. πŸ™‚

xo

SafeSound Personal Alarm Thoughts?

teardrop_backpack_cut.jpgSource: SafeSound Personal Alarm

What does everyone think about these?

I was texting with a friend the other day about all of the crap that has been going on in Santa Cruz County. Burglaries, missing people, gang violence, heroin addicts along the river, tweakers walking into your home, car and business trailer thefts, delivery box robberies off of your porch, murders and the list goes on and on.

Anyway, she mentioned to me that she is now going to the gym pretty early in the morning and having to walk to and from her car in a parking garage. There aren’t always people around to help if there was a need, so she was going to go and get a pepper spray. I told her I thought it was a good idea and I know that Big 5 sold them.

I spotted this, this morning. It looks pretty great. Easy to use. I wouldn’t put it on my purse, or backpack I don’t think though. Just because, a lot of the time, that is what the asshole will go for first. Maybe carry it in your hand, or on your keys? Maybe on the zipper on your jacket? Maybe have several in different places?

I also think this would be great for kids, boys and girls. Adults as well. All humans. Safety is pretty key in our world, unfortunately.

Getting assaulted is nothing new. It has gone on since the beginning of human kind. Why not be safer in any way you can. You have nothing to lose. I may have to put these in everyone’s stockings for Christmas this year. Not a bad idea at all.

What do you think? Would love your opinion… πŸ™‚

xo

Passion.Β 

Sometimes I see something on the television that just wrecks me. The tears are flowing and won’t stop. It really makes me think though. It also reminds me how hard death affects us. Today it made me think about love. How much you love someone. How deeply. How much you yearn for them. How they are so much a part of your world and the love you feel, that when they are gone a piece of you goes with them. To feel that passion in your life must be a priority for us all. I want to always feel that intensity. Needed. Looked at from across the room with so much love and desire you can feel the heat rise up through your body. Love so deep. πŸ˜€

xoxo